I’m not talking about “Drugs” persay, but I am talking about Ritalin. What is your take on this? I’ve been reading different opinions on it, watched Dr. Phil about it (yes, I have no life…….kids are grown, it’s that or painting my toenails ten times a day and I just don’t have the patience for that). Plus my daughter works within the school system and tells me ‘stories’ about certain kids.
I have to say that I do NOT agree with medicating children under the age of five. I’m not talking about the obvious ‘special needs’ that we see in kids this age. I’m talking about the ones who simply need discipline, not drugs. I’m talking about the ones who are two years old and are reduced to being ‘stoned’ because a daycare teacher has trouble and/or the parents at home can’t handle them. Ummm…….what two year old do you know that HAS an attention span? To say that they’re ADD, or ADHD, is just ridiculous. If they’re bouncing off the walls, throwing things, can’t eat, etc, that’s one thing. But to take away their energy because you can’t handle them? If life were that simple my husband would be on it, so I wouldn’t have to deal with him!
When my kids were younger they were very energetic. They climbed the furniture, painted the walls, ran for the road, you name it. But did I medicate them? HELL NO! Did I spank them? That’s another blog. I did discipline them, and when it comes to their safety there can be no second chances. Whatever you choose to do is your business, but I worry that we’re in a world where parents are working so hard and so long that they just don’t know what to do with their kids anymore. It’s really sad.
I’m not judging people who do medicate their kids. I’m questioning how easy it happens. Are there enough tests done first? Has every angle been exhausted? And another thing. I’ve been told that kids who are diagnosed with ADD and/or ADHD end up at school with nothing but SUGAR snacks. HELLO! If all I did is eat sugar all day, not only would my breasts continue their trek to my feet, but I would be high as a kite. That’s why we grandparents love to fill up the kids with sugar just before they go back to their parents – not when they first arrive!
I want some feedback on this. What do you all think about how we medicate our children? When my kids were in school, this was unheard of. Now I can think of some who needed it, but I can also remember when the kids were handled with more discipline than they get now. Please don’t get down to a two year old and ask “are you angry?” or “Did you want to talk about something?” PLEASE! He/she is TWO years old! Damn right they’re mad! They probably want to kick the crap out of someone or something, but we have to channel that energy. We have to help our children become the man or woman they were meant to be. And not with the use of drugs.
That’s my blog for today!
Bonnie
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Oh Bonnie, you’ve touched a topic that I’ve ranted on before as well. As a nurse, I see a lot of parents come to the doctor to get their active children medicated. Why?
For the most part, these are normal kids, with normal energy levels. Send them outside to run off some steam instead of sitting them in front of the tv with a chocolate bar or potato chips. Kids that are seen as ‘difficult’ aren’t really bad kids. They’ve just never been disciplined effectively before, so they keep pushing the envelope to get away with more and more. And tired single parents end up giving in and then claim ‘behavioral disorders’ later.
Medicate the problem–the parent. Leave the kids alone to be normal, healthy kids.
Sheesh…
Ellen
I really love your blog. I was reading this and thinking, ” okay another person I would love to send my child to “visit” for the weekend. My daighter is 11 and she is ADHD and PDD- NOS.( high functioning autism)
When I talk to friends (that won’t have us over unless it is an adult only night) about struggles of my day they always say, “I know what you mean”, “children are so energetic.” Or “she sounds normal to me”, “my son is argumentative like that”. Or they say, “you just have to force them to eat it”, or” wear it”, or “say it,” or do it……That may be true, but their child isn’t like this 24/7/365, morning to night, they have times when they can relate but they have no idea.
Beleive me, if I thought that I could change her I would. Am I too soft on her? NO. Am i concerned for her? Yes. I waited for two years to try everything before we put her on medication. Nothing worked. I finally had a doctor say, if she needed a wheel chair and she couldn’t walk, would hoping she could walk and telling her to walk and showing her to walk and taking away her wheelchair that she was jsut too comfortable in work? No she can’t just get up and walk no matter how many times she is told or wishes too. She has limitations.
Did I medicate my daughter easily? No! I tried everything for two years before I spent one whole week crying that we had to.
But one week later I was grateful it made her “focused” enough to talk to.
My neighbors have lived next to us for a couple of years now. They see her often hear her and they know now that the difference between their children and my child is she argues, fights,is frustrated, is sensitive to food, tastes, sight, noise levels, and clothes, everyday, morning to night, with no rests. It is exhausting.
Do I ever look back and wonder if I would have done things differently would seh be different. Yes all the time. But doesn’t every parent. That is what we grow up to be. Big adults, trying to act confident with our lives, the whole time deep down, wondering if we are doing things the way we should or if our children will think we are too hard on them.
Oh my child needs structure or she has meltdowns. And if she visits a friend and they think they will just have some fun time with no planning, they are the person with the meltdown. They send her home, exhausted and a little bit more respectful of what I am doing and how much thought and energy goes into my decisions with her. As I sit down and put a confused and rattled child to bed and calm a normally cool and calm friend down, I pray our friendship still stands through this and yet after she leaves and I have a rare moment to myself I realize at the end of the day, I need to make the right decisions for her and no one knows my daughter better than I do. I don’t thing everyone can understand what it is like, and every child is different and yes ADHD and Ritalin seems to be everywhere these days. But since my mom was a mom with kids at home, no one heard of Aids, HIV but we can’t ignore that it exists. We have different names. IN the old days they would have locked a child like mine up perhaps in a mental institute and walked away. Now they have drugs that can give her a life and give us some fun times. I rather look at it that times are changing and so is our understanding of things.
Dear Calliesmum:
Thanks so much for posting here on Coffee Thoughts! I feel for you, I really do. And you are NOT one of the people I was talking about when I said we medicate too fast. I read your story and would have done the same thing – you obviously love your child, and I applaud you for that.
Please don’t get me wrong, I do agree that some children need the assistance, and God knows how you do it! I’ve heard the saying “God never gives us more than we can handle”, but they (whoever ‘they’ are) left out the part where we sometimes need a break.
Bonnie