This is written from the point of view of Tessa in my novel Cevinâ€™s Deadly Sin.
First love is a bitch. Youâ€™re not sure of the other personâ€™s feelings, and you donâ€™t have a lot of experience to go by. The only thing I have to compare it to is my relationship with that jerk Michael I met when I lived in New York. All he did was lie to me. Now all of my insecurities are in hyper-drive, and Iâ€™m just not sure if I can trust this new guy, Cevin.
Face itâ€”I have a hard time relating to anyone at Tilapia High. The kids all seem to be either jocks or rednecks. What happened to the theater kids or the nerds like most schools have? In this small Florida town, the only excitement is hanging out at the Cozy Rest Diner or looking through vinyls at the Record Hut.
When I met Cevin he seemed like a cool guyâ€”maybe a little on the shy sideâ€”but he was really cute with that long brown hair, and he was even in a band. Still, I didnâ€™t know what I was getting into with him. When I found out that he liked to wear womenâ€™s clothesâ€”wellâ€”I wasnâ€™t exactly sure what to think.
At first I was furious with him. I was certain he was gay; he just wasnâ€™t admitting it. I was sure he was leading me on, not caring that he was going to break my heart. He insisted that he wasnâ€™t gay, that all he wanted was to be with meâ€”but how could I be sure? I decided I needed to trust him. He was a caring sort of person, and besides, I canâ€™t resist a man in mascara.
This next part is written from the point of view of Cevin.
No question, Tessa was my first love. When I met Tessa I knew there was something special about her. It wasnâ€™t just her jet-black hair and ivory complexion, or the way she crinkles her nose when she smiles. There was something about how she sat in the first row in chemistry class, writing in her journal. The teacher didnâ€™t mind at all. When he called on her she always got the answers one hundred percent correct. She hardly ever spoke with me, but then she did something that really touched me. One day when I had to walk to school in the pouring rain and came into class soaking wet, she handed me her shawl. When I put it on, I instantly stopped shivering. Tessaâ€™s energy imbued the shawl.
Thereâ€™s something different about meâ€”something I was loath to tell herâ€”I like wearing womenâ€™s clothes. They make me feel like the person I was meant to be. They neutralize all of the bad energy and make me feel like some kind of superhero.
Her brother hates me, though. Heâ€™d love to see me dead; Iâ€™m sure of it. He threatened to â€œoffâ€ me if I donâ€™t stop seeing Tessa. But I refuse to stop seeing her. Iâ€™ll fight to the death to keep her love.
Cevin’s Deadly Sin is the story of a hetero, teen cross-dresser: his struggles with first love, self-identity and bullying during his senior year in a small, Florida town. It is published by Queer Teen Press.
Sally Bosco has a fascination with gender: the perceptions we have, the attitudes people have toward those who donâ€™t fit into the usual categories, and the feelings we have about our own genders. She loves writing young adult fiction because she strongly relates to teenage angst, the search for self-identity and the feelings of being an outsider. Check out her webpage at sallybosco.com.
- About the Author
- Posts in the Past
Sally Bosco writes young adult fiction.