I’m not really into the whole retail, commercial, holiday buying binge.  I’m the type of person who buys gifts throughout the year and ratholes them.  Yes, hate me if you will, but I’m also the type of person who finds them the next year and gives them away as birthday gifts.  Earmuffs in July? Why not? 

I have a beef with these national chain stores, one in particular, but I won’t name them for two reasons. One, I refuse to give the capitalist pigs any free advertising, let them work for their money. Two, I’m terrified that -cough-Warbucks will break down my door in the middle of the night and cart me off to the bowels of one of their superstores where I’ll be forced to price merchandise as punishment for daring to speak out against them.  So, if you don’t hear from me, you’ll know the latter happened. If so, send help. And coffee.

However, before that happens, I want to get something off my chest.  Halloween should not begin in August, but out pop the pumpkin shaped Reese cups sure as the days get shorter. Where I’m from, they melt into a mishappen lump.**

**However, they refreeze well.   

Even more important, Christmas does not begin in October.  No, it does not! Nor should the selling of candy, cards, decorations, etc begin prior to let’s say, the first to the middle of November.  So.. To what do my wondering eyes should appear as I waded through the Halloween candy aisle this year?

You guessed it, a life-sized Santa and his eight singing reindeer.   Halloween was instantly usurped by the fat man and that vainglorious Vixen!  Children were no longer worried about their costumes and candy, now they wanted to know “When are we getting toys!”  I wanted to tell the rude red suited one to wait his turn, however, it was too late, the damage had been done. 

Retailers need to learn a thing or two from romance authors who know that the name of the game is sex sells! anticipation!  Build it up.  Halloween–candy.  Thanksgiving–food.   Christmas–toys!! New Years–parents get drunk and act like idiots and if you play your cards right– more toys!!  But seriously, in today’s world of give it to me now, right now, now now now! Nobody has anything left to look forward to anymore. 

You know I’m right and if you don’t all you have to do is walk around the Christmas aisle where I’ll bet you’ll find they’re getting ready to put out..  

Valentine’s Day Candy!

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