They should call it “Barbie doll” treatment. After all, if you’re having parts of your body turning plastic, you may as well go all the way. Let’s get the straw hair, the perky (and no nippled) breasts, and … well, I won’t go into too much detail. Let’s just say we won’t have to worry about wearing thongs with a Barbie’s behind.

I’ve watched shows where it’s so clear who has had surgery. They can’t smile correctly, can’t frown or they may tear the fake skin that has been placed upon them. And God forbid they have boobs that sink lower than their elbows. They’re practically chin rests, for goodness sakes!

What about the lips? Who ever came up with the idea that having big, full lips is a GOOD thing? To have a permanent pout? Or is it that when they were children they were traumatized by the fact they couldn’t touch their nose with their top lip, so they fill it up with botox until all they have to do is make ‘fishy’ faces and suddenly they’re the lip/nose champions? Is that it? If that’s the case, then I must say I was always jealous of the girls who didn’t have to wear a bra. You know them. The ones who had nipples and that’s it. I wanted to be able to wear a bathing suit that didn’t come with a “whale” tag on it. Where I had my own personal ‘buoys’. Floaters? Who needed em? They’d just hang on to me instead.

Now I can understand if you have a huge wart on your nose, or if your face is disfigured or burned……but to have surgery to stay younger? Hello! You’re still going to age, whether you look it or not. Then you just become your children’s ‘strange’ mother/grandmother. Can you imagine walking down the mall looking the same age as your mother? That would be so embarrassing! Like having your own Barbie to play with when you’re an adult. If I wanted a Barbie, I’d go to Walmart – not a plastic surgeon.

What a world we live in. Men grow old gracefully and are applauded for it. Women, however, we’re supposed to remain eternally young or our husbands tend to look elsewhere. I tell ya, if my husband looked elsewhere he’d be doing it with two black eyes! You should never feel pressured to be something you’re not. And remember what it was like when you played Barbies and tried to have ‘relations’ with Ken???? Hard to kiss with a permanent smile – rubbing teeth is just NOT as fun in real life as it was when our dolls did it. And … well, Ken just isn’t as endowed as I like my men to be. Of course….he’s always hard……

That’s my brew for today…….enjoy!


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