I thought I would treat myself to a new outfit the other day.  I had some extra money, and my girlfriends and I are going to a dinner party next weekend.  However, I found new and unique things to hate about myself.  I’m not just talking the flab that seems to have attached itself to every part of my body.  I’m talking about the titanic sized ass that has appeared out of nowhere.  When is the last time I looked in the mirror??  EEK!

Plus they have these new shirts out that are beautiful, don’t get me wrong. They’re flowy (whatever that word is), soft, and can either be dressy or casual.  However, you need to have breasts growing out of your COLLARBONE to wear them! Do women really have breasts that perky?  Or are they made for women without any breasts at all?

I also love how everytime I try on clothes, every skinny woman from here to Canada seems to be in the change room at the same time.  I see them twirling, twisting, frowning at how ‘fat’ they look – wouldn’t you want to just shove a dozen donuts down their throat??  And they get the “I wish I had more boobs” or “my ass is so flat”.  Yeah, THEY have problems.

I did manage to find myself something to wear.  It wasn’t the fancy dress I pictured myself in = like the ones they wear on movies at those fancy parties.  Or the ones you see on the red carpet … nope.  Mine is more like something you would buy when going camping.  It’s called a tent.

Paperbag for my head, anyone?

That’s my blog for today.  I’m brewing up some diet pills as we speak.  Wish me luck!



Pin It on Pinterest

Share This